There are some concepts that are difficult to fit into just one box, because they are interlinked in our human reality. Can a person who lacks self confidence be brave? Can they take risks? Can they be proactive? Can they explore the world and all the opportunities surrounding them?
I don't think so.
When you work on your self confidence, you are also developing a set of other skills and increasing your chances of getting hired...
photo credit: Brandon Christopher Warren via photopin cc
Lack of self confidence affects everybody at some time in our lives.
I don't - and won't - believe it's a female only problem.
Confidence can be more or less present in our daily lives, but it isn't constant, it doesn't stay always at the same level. For better and for worse.
A couple of months ago, an article on a specialized Portuguese job site read "Self confidence creates employment".
The conclusion came out of an academic research that scientifically proved that young people who have confidence in themselves get better jobs.
After following a group of 500 final year graduates, the researcher came yet to another conclusion:
This last statement became very clear to me during my one year stay in India.
In several different occasions, my blonde, tall, skinny, blue eyed room mate said "I wish I had your self confidence"
Little old me, who would get neck aches from looking up at her, with my hands on my very round hips started to think about this imbalance: why do I love my imperfections so much and why can't she love what's perfect about her?
We started sharing stories about how to build self love.
For me, my mother is at the forefront of my self confidence. I always knew that even if I showed up wrapped in a burlap sack, she would be the first to say "that dress looks amazing on you, my love!"
My friend's family was a bit different.
A couple of years before, she had had some heart problems and had to be hospitalized for a few weeks. The first thing her mother said when visiting her at the hospital was "you look fatter."
I could now start campaigning for my favorite cause - that people should take a theoretical/practical course and get a licence before being able to have children - but maybe this is not the place.
However, before leaving some tips on how to improve self confidence, I would like to make a plea to all the mothers, fathers, uncles and aunts, cousins and godparents out there: Family is the basis for self confidence.
It doesn't matter if you thing nobody listens to what you say. Your words have an impact on others so please use them carefully and help to build people full of self confidence and love and all the other good things that come along.
If not for anything else, at least to help fight unemployment.
photo credit: Pavel P. via photopin cc
1. Take good care of you - just the way you imagine "gorgeous people" do
The curvaceous (and skinny) beauties we see on magazines, TV and film DO NOT wake up looking like that.
If you don't believe me, just ask Google for celebrities without makeup.
I warn you it is not pretty.
If you want silky, shinny hair, wash it, style it and take good care of it.
If you want uniform skin, pink cheeks and catlike lashes, I would advise foundation, concealer, blush and several coats of mascara.
These things don't just happen without time and effort.
Assess how you really want to look and take the necessary steps to get there.
2. Dress as if you were going to a party
You don't have to cover yourself in sequins from head to toe, but just go a bit further than the usual jeans and sweatshirt or cardigan that you use everyday.
Again, make a little effort and see how you feel. And when you leave the house, believe the compliments you will get.
3. Think positive. Silence the negative
You have to get out of your head.
Silence the constant critic that doesn't seem to ever shut up inside your head. Start to think and listen to the positive.
Start your day reading something that makes you laugh. Watch "Modern Family" at breakfast.
Discover what makes you laugh and feel good and surround yourself with that.
4. Keep good posture
Our brain works in mysterious ways (not to mention weird. Try not thinking about a pink elephant... Good luck.)
It's amazing the way your body posture can affect the way you think and feel at the moment.
Try this:
- in a room full of people
- put a pen in your mouth
- tilt your head back
- think about something sad
If you do this exercise with other people, everybody starts to giggle and it's practically impossible to think about something sad.
In the same way, if you have a confident posture: straight back, chin up, a smile on your lips, you will feel very differently than if you are hunched over yourself, feeling your love handles touching your chest.
Do you have other self confidence building tips to share?
Please leave them in the comments bellow!
And thanks for sharing this post.
I don't think so.
When you work on your self confidence, you are also developing a set of other skills and increasing your chances of getting hired...
Lack of self confidence affects everybody at some time in our lives.
I don't - and won't - believe it's a female only problem.
Confidence can be more or less present in our daily lives, but it isn't constant, it doesn't stay always at the same level. For better and for worse.
A couple of months ago, an article on a specialized Portuguese job site read "Self confidence creates employment".
The conclusion came out of an academic research that scientifically proved that young people who have confidence in themselves get better jobs.
After following a group of 500 final year graduates, the researcher came yet to another conclusion:
family is the basis for self confidence
In several different occasions, my blonde, tall, skinny, blue eyed room mate said "I wish I had your self confidence"
Little old me, who would get neck aches from looking up at her, with my hands on my very round hips started to think about this imbalance: why do I love my imperfections so much and why can't she love what's perfect about her?
We started sharing stories about how to build self love.
For me, my mother is at the forefront of my self confidence. I always knew that even if I showed up wrapped in a burlap sack, she would be the first to say "that dress looks amazing on you, my love!"
My friend's family was a bit different.
A couple of years before, she had had some heart problems and had to be hospitalized for a few weeks. The first thing her mother said when visiting her at the hospital was "you look fatter."
I could now start campaigning for my favorite cause - that people should take a theoretical/practical course and get a licence before being able to have children - but maybe this is not the place.
However, before leaving some tips on how to improve self confidence, I would like to make a plea to all the mothers, fathers, uncles and aunts, cousins and godparents out there: Family is the basis for self confidence.
It doesn't matter if you thing nobody listens to what you say. Your words have an impact on others so please use them carefully and help to build people full of self confidence and love and all the other good things that come along.
If not for anything else, at least to help fight unemployment.
How to increase self confidence quickly
1. Take good care of you - just the way you imagine "gorgeous people" do
The curvaceous (and skinny) beauties we see on magazines, TV and film DO NOT wake up looking like that.
If you don't believe me, just ask Google for celebrities without makeup.
I warn you it is not pretty.
If you want silky, shinny hair, wash it, style it and take good care of it.
If you want uniform skin, pink cheeks and catlike lashes, I would advise foundation, concealer, blush and several coats of mascara.
These things don't just happen without time and effort.
Assess how you really want to look and take the necessary steps to get there.
2. Dress as if you were going to a party
You don't have to cover yourself in sequins from head to toe, but just go a bit further than the usual jeans and sweatshirt or cardigan that you use everyday.
Again, make a little effort and see how you feel. And when you leave the house, believe the compliments you will get.
3. Think positive. Silence the negative
You have to get out of your head.
Silence the constant critic that doesn't seem to ever shut up inside your head. Start to think and listen to the positive.
Start your day reading something that makes you laugh. Watch "Modern Family" at breakfast.
Discover what makes you laugh and feel good and surround yourself with that.
4. Keep good posture
Our brain works in mysterious ways (not to mention weird. Try not thinking about a pink elephant... Good luck.)
It's amazing the way your body posture can affect the way you think and feel at the moment.
Try this:
- in a room full of people
- put a pen in your mouth
- tilt your head back
- think about something sad
If you do this exercise with other people, everybody starts to giggle and it's practically impossible to think about something sad.
In the same way, if you have a confident posture: straight back, chin up, a smile on your lips, you will feel very differently than if you are hunched over yourself, feeling your love handles touching your chest.
Do you have other self confidence building tips to share?
Please leave them in the comments bellow!
And thanks for sharing this post.
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